Thoughts on Forrest Gump...

When I first revealed to my best friend what my favourite movie was, it must have been back in 2010, she laughed at me a little. I was taken aback that she had never, EVER seen Forrest Gump (but then, she’s not seen The Lion King, so I rest my case. Love ya girl).

When you haven’t seen Forrest Gump, the name kinda sounds a little whimsical, funny... maybe even silly - like it’s not too much of a deep and intelligent 2-and-a-bit-hours watch. However!

Forrest Gump has always touched me in a way no other film has come close to – 12 Years a Slave moved me in so many ways, but I’d say it’s second to Forrest Gump. This is because Gump gives me this crazy feeling that I haven’t felt as a result of watching anything before in my life, and I don’t think I ever will feel it from any other film. I don’t know what it is about this movie, but it gives me this familiar feeling. It makes me cry at odd points throughout, despite my having watched it no doubt 50+ times. I cry in different places every time. I can think of a character and burst into tears. I can quote it in any situation. I adore all the actors, admire the special effects team and really geekishly love deciphering the subtext and metaphorical ideas put forward in the film...

I remember the first time I watched Forrest Gump. I was at my Dad’s house in a small corner of the Isle of Wight, and we were channel surfing, trying to find something good to watch as a family on Friday night. This was in early 2009 as far as I remember, around 15 years after the film had been released back in 1994. We switched to Film 4 and I was like, ‘what the HELL is Forrest Gump, Dad? Lolololol!!!11!!!’

What a young fool I was.

It was probably due to the fact I was introduced to the film at the scene where Forrest’s Momma is *ahem* giving her everything for her son to get into a good school (and not ‘some special school where they learn how to retread tires’) that my dim preconceptions reared their ugly heads, but I was sorely mistaken, and loved every minute of that film from that very first sitting. My Dad told me I’d love it if I just watched, and I’m so glad we did that night (hey, with the theme of fate and destiny throughout, maybe it was my fate that I was to watch the film that night, become obsessed with it and write this blog entry many years after... crazy huh?). I WEPT LIKE A MOTHERBITCH.

So due to my love of lists, I have compiled a few reasons why I LOVE Forrest Gump, and personally find it unsurpassable in terms of EVERYTHING A FILM COULD EVER BE.

1)      The soundtrack – okay, let’s just get this first one out of the way. THE SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS MOVIE IS THE BEST MOVIE SOUNDTRACK I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED. I’ll sub-list a few right here, right now.

*clears throat*

- All Along the Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix
- California Dreamin’ – The Mamas and the Papas
- Mrs Robinson – Simon and Garfunkel
- Freebird – Lynyrd Skynyrd (oh my god)
- San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair) – Scott McKenzie
- Blowin’ In The Wind – Joan Baez (Jenny alludes to it and sings it, and it’s on the CD)
- TOO MANY SONGS BY THE DOORS TO LIST
- (I Don’t Know Why) But I Do – Clarence Frogman Henry
- Hound Dog – Elvis Presley
- Get Down Tonight – KC & The Sunshine Band
- Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac

And so on. I rest my case. The soundtrack is the ULTIMATE soundtrack of the 50s, 60s and 70s (though unfortunately The Beatles aren’t in there), and that’s where the best music came from. I think, if Gump didn’t have this soundtrack, it might just be a completely different movie. I don’t want to say that it might be a worse movie, because I still love the original Alan Silvestri theme, but I think that using the music of each decade as time moves on really adds to the reality of what happened during those periods – the civil rights and hippie movement, the Vietnam war, the flower children, the aftermath of that and the junkies that were left with their drug habits, the music that represented the feelings of those times – of the freedom, youth, the excitement, the new opportunities and social developments, the feeling of change and revolution in the air... It must have been an exciting time to be Forrest and Jenny’s age during those decades - and I spend a lot of time personally imagining what it might have been like *sad I know*. Forrest Gump and its soundtrack help me to do that. If I listen to ‘Freebird’, I see Jenny on that balcony reeling in depression from her heroin habit and abusive relationships, and if I hear Hendrix’s ‘All Along the Watchtower’ I imagine the soldiers in Vietnam enduring the sun and then the relentless rain. The music is a vehicle that helps me to really feel what was happening to the characters, and all the different routes life could go during those special decades.

2)      The snapshot of the 20^th century, its highs and lows –

Vietnam is a big part of Forrest’s life, when as soon as he graduates college he is sent packing to training without much thinking in between. I think Zemeckis handled it really well. None of us want another film focussed on war and the battle – and Gump doesn’t give us that. Instead it stays in keeping with its theme of love, and shows the devastation caused to Forrest’s friends and fellow soldiers, from his own simple point of view. We see the parts of Vietnam that we don’t see in other films. We also see the devotion Forrest has to Jenny and his loyalty to her words. We also see just a snapshot of the actual war, and instead see more character development for Lieutenant Dan and Bubba, and the aftermath of the war for invalided veterans. Vietnam also links to the theme of fate within the film, because if Forrest hadn’t been drafted, he would also have never saved Lieutenant Dan or met Bubba, would never have won the medal of honour and been able to go back to Washington to cross paths with Jenny once again, he would never have become a shrimp boat captain or a ping pong champion... It’s a strange thought that that one event mapped out Forrest’s entire destiny, just because of his determination in each opportunity that is presented.

 

      We also see the protests and the hippie culture, and also sadly the way some of the flower children became junkies when the 70s arrived. We see Forrest debunk Watergate unwittingly. We see Forrest meet (through the medium of INCREDIBLE EDITING) all the presidents of those decades, we see the civil rights movement happen briefly – something I would have loved to have been there to feel happening. We see the creation of Apple Corporation, AND LETS JUST THROW IN GUMP HIMSELF ON THE DICK CAVETT SHOW INSPIRING THE LYRICS TO IMAGINE BY JOHN LENNON, BECAUSE THAT GETS ME EVERY TIME.

(along with ‘one day, that nice young man from England was going home to see his son... for no particular reason, somebody decided to shoot him’ SOBS)

3)      The Characters, OH MY GOD –

I really want to start with Jenny, because she’s probably my favourite character ever: I think Jenny is a symbol for ‘we accept the love we think we deserve’ – she is such a complex character. As a child she was sexually abused by her father, and so thinks she deserves nothing more than the abusive relationships she gets herself into, and after experimenting in the sixties she continues using the drugs that keep her numb to it all. That’s why she denies Forrest’s love throughout and tells him that he doesn’t know what love is; really, it’s Jenny who doesn’t know what love is. She is a real symbol of someone who can’t understand love because she’s never seen it. All Forrest wants to do is take her in, heal her and love her – there’s nothing difficult about that at all; it’s just what he’s done from the day he met her on the school bus. Even when Jenny admits that she loves Forrest, she feels scared and has to run from it because she believes she isn’t worthy of the profound, unbreakable love he has for her. Jenny has never thought to accept something that she might actually deserve because since she was a kid all she has seen are bad relationships and bad love.
Jenny is also a symbol of women’s newfound freedom in the 60s. I have heard so many people say to me: ‘Jenny’s a slut!!!!111!!’ but let’s think; this was the 1960s. Women were finally allowed to express and own their own bodies and sexuality without being judged because of the introduction of the contraceptive pill. Time for a grumble about this day and age, because nowadays we seem to have regressed back to the 1950s shame in sexual expression, but I digress. Women could have more sex, be freer and be more of an equal to men in terms of sexuality for the first time ever. Jenny is the embodiment of the woman who owned herself, who owned her sexuality and owned her ability to walk in and out of relationships just as a man might, and exercise her right to everything a man could do. Plus, she just has a series of partners, it’s not like she just sleeps around.
I see Jenny as anything but the traditional Hollywood stereotypes of women in cinema. She doesn’t just accept the groping advances of the men in the club she works at, but is purely doing the job because of her aspirations to be a folk singer and her drive for success. She never marries until she chooses – she even proposes to Forrest herself, turning the typical on its head once again because it’s only when she feels ready to get married, not the man in the narrative. She’s the complete antithesis of pretty much every female character that has been before. She’s real, gritty, she did what she wanted to do, she lived for herself and what she thought she deserved – not what a man thought she deserved, she left men – they didn’t leave her, and she stood up to bullies for Forrest.  

 

To me, she's a symbol of the best decade there ever was.

 

Lieutenant Dan: Lieutenant Dan is a symbol of loyalty throughout Forrest Gump. He is always a man of his word, despite being stuck in the somewhat stubborn mindset of lieutenant. When he says he’ll be Forrest’s first mate, he goes through with it. Dan is truly a very noble character. Dan is also GREAT for quote-ability – I use ‘that’s just perfect’ and ‘yes, I know that’ on a daily basis.

 

Forrest: I might be going COMPLETELY Film Studies student about this, but I see Forrest as a kind of Christ-like figure for the people surrounding him, as his Momma is to him. I think Tom Hanks said: ‘Forrest believes in 3 things; God, his Momma and Jenny, and everything else is filtered through those 3 things’. The feather also poses quite a theological idea, but I saw it mainly in Forrest’s relationship with Lieutenant Dan.

Basically, I thought to myself first of all that Dan mentions God and Jesus a LOT for a supposed non-believer. He asks Forrest ‘have you found Jesus yet?’ on a desperately sad, dingy Christmas Eve at his apartment with a bottle of drink. When he joins Forrest on the shrimp catching boat and tells him to pray for shrimp, he still goes to church despite coming across as a non-believer. Dan’s costume goes from clean cut to Jesus-like when he meets Forrest in New York, with long hair and a beard. When he has his new legs, he’s suddenly clean shaven and short haired – almost like he’s been given a rebirth by thanking Forrest for saving his life. And when Lieutenant Dan finally thanks Forrest for saving his life, he swims out and the sky and water are almost white. I see that as a metaphor for Heaven, Christ and finding peace. Also, Christ could heal cripples – Dan is healed in a way by Forrest allowing him into his shrimp business and giving him a new lease of life rather than sitting in his dingy flat all day, every day.

I also got this whole Christ idea from Forrest doing his run. I compared it to Jesus’ walk through the desert – JC walked through the desert for 40 days and 40 nights to find his God given purpose and have his former life revealed to him. Gump ran to let off emotional steam over Jenny, put the past behind him and find a sense of purpose now that he had no Momma and no Jenny in that big old house. Ultimately he became a symbol of hope for thousands of people, even stating that it ‘gave people hope’.

4)      The themes throughout –

Hope, the determination to never give up, doing your best in whatever opportunity life throws at you along the path. How, if you do good things with honest, compassionate intentions you can never be called stupid or wrong, because stupid is as stupid does. Unrequited love, friendship, fate and destiny. The way our lives and our friends lives can and will pan out completely differently to one another as Forrest, Jenny, Lt Dan and Bubba’s all did. Forrest had known Jenny since primary school and yet he ended up a war veteran and she ended up a singer, flower child, hippie, junkie and eventually a mother.
I love how Forrest Gump also poses the questions: do we make our own destiny, are we all here by accident floating around and making our own way, or do we have a destiny set out? Was life supposed to happen that way, or did it happen like that because that’s the way the feather blew? Sally Fields actually said in a documentary, that Forrest is an example of life being there to be had, and that it’s just a matter of reaching out and grabbing it.

5)      Finally, this...
“You died on a Saturday morning, and I had you buried under our tree. And I had that house of your father’s bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said that dying was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn’t. Little Forrest is doing just fine. He’s about to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. I’m teaching him how to play ping-pong. He’s really good! We fish a lot, and every night we read a book and he’s just so smart, Jenny. You’d be so proud of him. I am. He wrote you a letter, but he says I can’t read it, I’m not supposed to so I’ll just leave it here for you. Jenny, I don’t know if Momma was right or if it’s Lieutenant Dan; I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental like on a breeze. But I think... maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny. If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.”

 

I cried typing that out. I mouth the words along with Forrest every time I watch the film because I think it’s just such a heart wrenching, beautiful piece of script work which captures the essence of what I feel love is so perfectly – of wanting to continue giving everything you have despite physically not being able to anymore. Above everything else, I think Forrest Gump has made me question and think about love more than anything has before. I've decided since watching the film that I’ve not ever been as devoted to a person as much as Forrest was to Jenny, from the day he met her to the day she died.

 

Forrest cherishes Jenny. She is his goddess, his angel. He takes care of her and works hard for her even when she seems a pain. Their love was the kind of love that brought out the best in both people involved - where you give up your own selfish needs to do anything to bring a smile to that person’s face, because their smile becomes your smile. Their happiness becomes your happiness. Their pain is your pain, and you overcome obstacles together to prevent that pain in the future.

I know that the film and novel are complete fiction, and that it’s unrealistic in its narrative, but if I would want any type of lover it would be someone who somewhat emulates Forrest. His compassion for Jenny is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and it’s not even real – which is the sad thing. My favourite line is that last one in the monologue: ‘if there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away’. It astounds me that Forrest still wants to provide for Jenny even though there is nothing he can really give her anymore. He has given almost everything, and still finds it in his heart to want to give more. I think it’s his selflessness that brings me to tears, and how in the end he lost out the most by losing his Jenny.

 

That’s what more human beings need; carefree, selfless and undivided love for all of their brothers and sisters. We are all of the same species when it comes down to it; disregard race, gender, religion, social class, whatever causes the poison and toxicity, because we are all as vulnerable as each other when we turn out the lights at night. We could all be the Jenny at some point in our life in some way or another, but we all have the opportunity to become the Lieutenant Dan. We have the ability to believe in ourselves and love, just like Forrest did. We all have the ability to do great things; whether we’re smart or dumb, short or tall, big or small, slow or fast, disabled or completely healthy. Life is great, you just have to reach out, grab it, and make it great and worthwhile by making the most of every opportunity – just like Forrest did.

I needed to get these thoughts down somewhere, and I thought my blog would be the best place to do so. It's honestly such an inspiring movie to me - these words don't even sum up the emotion, the love and the familiar feeling I get when I watch it. It's a movie I will never get tired of.

I'll  leave you with one of my favourite moments from the movie, and one that makes me cry sometimes when I watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2QGUkVqv-M

'Our destiny is defined by how we deal with the chance elements of our life.’
 
Peace and Love <3

What in the World Am I Thankful For?

What In The World Do I Have To Be Thankful For?

Sometimes I think we take everything we personally enjoy for granted. I’m not talking about possessions – happiness can’t be counted in ‘things’ and money. I was thinking to myself the other night, what in the world am I thankful for? I came up with a ton of stuff! So here are 100 things I came up with that make life worth it even when I’m feeling down, disheartened or stressed; what I am thankful for, and what makes the world the best place to live. They’re in no particular order...

1)      My mum, dad, brothers, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

2)      Acting

3)      Seeing a real traditional Isle of Wight native witness a really flamboyantly gay man.

4)      The word contrapuntal.

5)      Matthew McConaughey and everything he does.

6)      Sometimes my feet get ahead of themselves when I walk, and it makes me laugh.

7)      Men that love their mothers more than anybody else in the world.

8)      Chris O’Dowd’s face.

9)      Hearing the British public complain about the weather.

10)   When people use obscure song lyric references in everyday conversation.

11)   People laughing uncontrollably.

12)   Having a video player still.

13)   Hearing somebody whistle ‘Mysterious Girl’ by Peter Andre

14)   Marilyn Monroe

15)   Peaches, because they’re the best fruit – no arguments.

16)   Ranting.

17)   Seeing your words strike chords with people in a beautiful way.

18)   Paul McCartney’s eyebrows.

19)   Nature and knowing that I will never understand it all, but being able to appreciate its beauty.

20)   Having weird dreams.

21)   Blurry photographs that make your face look all stretched. They make me laugh so much.

22)   Making people jump.

23)   Making my dog jump.

24)   Old people enjoying something rude – like the old couple watching ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ next to us last week.

25)   My Mad Fat Diary.

26)   Dorky men with good bone structure.

27)   Steve Urkel.

28)   Doing Stewie and Lois impressions.

29)   Seeing people cooing over/playing with their baby in public.

30)   Walter Matthau in ‘Grumpy Old Men’

31)   Really bad jokes.

32)   When people make sitcom references and you get it.

33)   Spotting lookalikes and sound-alike’s.

34)   When American people are obsessed with Britain, our culture and British TV

35)   Adrian Edmonson and Rik Mayall’s existence.

36)   When a comedian makes a joke and you relate to it, instantly making it a billion times funnier.

37)   Bob Ross and his happy little trees – I don’t even paint; I just like to listen to him while I work.

38)   My skinny little spaniel, King Charles II.

39)   Shakespearean insults. Damn you a beef witted, gleeking bum bailey.

40)   The atmosphere at music festivals.

41)   Donating to charity and feeling good about it.

42)   Spotting innuendos in children’s shows – like this scene in ‘Rainbow’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgbcQIT7BMc

43)    Horrible Histories.

44)   Reading 50 Shades of Grey while drunk with your best friend. Best thing ever.

45)   Someone asking for directions and not knowing the way yourself.

46)   Spinning around in a flowing dress.

47)   Places with funny names.

48)   Looking through all of my old schoolwork and notes between my friends.

49)   Motivational speeches.

50)   Being as sarcastic as possible at any given moment.

51)   Going to the cinema and coming out when it’s really dark.

52)   The fact that Richard Osman looks like Fireman Sam.

53)   The banter between Xander and Richard on ‘Pointless’.

54)   Having long curly hair.

55)   Sparkling wine in the summer, sitting in the garden.

56)   Men who are openly feminist.

57)   Talking in a stupidly dramatic voice to make a point about something petty.

58)   Joan Baez’s guitar playing style.

59)   Singamajigs. I want one SO much.

60)   Aching for ages after a workout. You know you really hit it that day.

61)   Imagining the house you will have in the future, and where you’ll live.

62)   Doing the David Brent dance at any given moment.

63)   Having super long baths.

64)   Wearing clothes that have just come off of the radiator.

65)   Leaving champagne on your tongue so it fizzes.

66)   Pencil skirts.

67)   Crossing off the last thing on your to do list.

68)   Having lots of books to read throughout the summer break.

69)   Immature ‘69’ jokes.

70)   Being in absolute awe at an actor when they create a phenomenal performance – like Chiwetel Ejiofor in ‘12 Years a Slave’ or Jeremy Sheffield in ‘Hollyoaks’.

71)   Those Starburst Cake Bars you used to be able to buy and my memories of eating them on primary school trips to Osborne House.

72)   Smelling someone else’s dinner as you walk home to have yours.

73)   Wearing no bra under a sweater.

74)   Baking, in every sense.

75)   Inside jokes.

76)   When you say something at exactly the same time as your friend.

77)   Cluedo.

78)   Smelling cigarette smoke when someone else is smoking.

79)   Playing Slender while drinking.

80)   Lambs.

81)   When you smell your perfume on yourself and demand that the nearest person smell you.

82)   Knowing the Duke of Edinburgh exists.

83)   Jeremy Irons’ voice.

84)   When Daffodils make their first yearly appearance.

85)   When my dog’s been lying in the sun on my bed and his fur is super warm.

86)   Liza Minnelli.

87)   Looking out of the window at night to watch the sun go down.

88)   ‘Homer...sexual’ and other obscure Simpsons quotes/references.

89)   Knowing that everyone unanimously agrees that a cover version of The Beatles is never going to be as good as the original.

90)   That my best friend’s boyfriend knowing all the lyrics to ‘Wannabe’ by the Spice Girls and ‘Talulah’ from Bugsy Malone.

91)   Sharon Tate.

92)   Telling people why you admire them.

93)   The Hugh Hefner and his love of strawberry ice cream.

94)   The character Neely O’Hara from ‘Valley of the Dolls’.

95)   Receiving knitted gifts.

96)   Good old fashioned musicals.

97)   Yankee Candles.

98)   Wearing a dressing gown around the house on Sundays.

99)   Knowing that Viking helmets didn’t have horns, and other petty historical trivia that nobody cares about.

100) Hearing someone in Britain over-pronounce a French word.

Think of all the little things that you’re thankful for. What cheers you up when you’re feeling low? Make a list and practice positive thinking.

Love, Eloise.

@MissEloisabeth

 

Universe, You've Done It Again Baby

So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

*Whispers* Sometimes, I set aside a little time in the day to devote to talking to people that perhaps aren’t on this planet anymore. I speak to my heroes; the people that inspire me that I’ll never get the chance to meet so that I can try to receive true guidance from them. I speak to Marilyn. I speak to Travis Alexander. I speak to George Harrison, Sharon Tate, John Lennon – anybody I admire for their abilities, strengths and insight.

This may sound weird, but bear with me. I experienced a few miracles recently in the face of what some would consider a pretty disheartening time.

February 20^th, 2014.

I’m sitting in my bedroom late at night, panicking about the audition at Manchester Metropolitan University Theatre School that I have in 2 days time. I turn to my poster of Marilyn, those beautiful, childlike eyes watching me from her temporary place on the floor. I start to speak to her. I just talk to her about acting. I talk about Michael Chekhov; I ask her ephemeral questions I know I won’t get an answer to. Most importantly, I ask for her advice. I ask for her help with my acting, performance anxieties and to send any message or sign she can to let me know that someone is looking out for me and sending me some positive energy. I thanked her for what she did during her life and being such a huge inspiration to me and I turned out my light.
So, I set off the next day for Manchester, thinking I would be spending the coach journey finding it difficult to remember my lines – just like my Rose Bruford audition. Surprisingly, my lines ingrain themselves in my head quicker than I think I’ve ever learnt a 2 minute monologue in my life. I thought nothing of it, except that I was super glad my lines were learnt and somehow sorted for the next day.

Now, I didn’t think anything of my one sided conversation with Marilyn until after the audition – even after the dream I had at the hotel the night before the audition.

I went to sleep, and I had a dream about the house I lived in until I was about 2 years old, I think. It was in Sandown, Isle of Wight, and I lived with my Mum, Nanny and Granddad, and Round Nanny (Great Nan, to everyone else). I vividly remember, even 39 days later, that my Great Granddad was in the dream – a man I never met in life. This wasn’t incredibly remarkable – I mean, I’d seen a photograph or two of him before.

But, sat in Dominos after my audition, I told my Mum about my conversation with Marilyn, and my plea for her help and support. I told her about Great Granddad in my dream the night before. Out of the blue, she asked me what he was wearing. I said he was wearing a brown cardigan. Mum told me he used to wear that cardigan all the time, and I was later shown a photo of him wearing it. That was ‘ahaa...’ moment number 1. The second moment was when she was asking how he was standing. I vividly remember him standing at the edge of the room in the doorway – not intruding into the room. He was leaning on the doorframe. Mum told me this time that he used to lean all of the time due to his breathing difficulties. For me to see all of this in a dream, when I’ve never met the man before; I think that it was a sign that I had someone supporting me and sending me some positive energy.

But despite this positive vibe around me, I still had that thought in the back of my mind. I was still thinking ‘I got rejected from Rose Bruford, my first university audition. What if I get rejected from MMU too?’ I didn't think the audition went particularly badly; in fact I thought it went really well compared to Rose Bruford, where I messed up my lines. But that niggle just wouldn't shake...

You know what happened? Eureka, I got rejected again. This won't happen with LIPA this Sunday though, because of what I will go onto discuss.

Here comes Recent Miracle #2.

10^th March, 2014.

Coming home from sixth form early, I decided to watch a documentary on Netflix. I’m studying them in Film Studies anyway, so I thought I could analyse the codes and conventions while I was at it. I scanned through the ones I had saved on my list, stopping on one called ‘The Secret’. It was about scientists and philosophers discussing this secret. You know what The Secret ended up being?

The Law of Attraction.

In the first ten minutes or so, they started discussing how if you dwell on the fact that you currently don’t have any money, that’s where you’re going to be stuck because the Law of Attraction states that the type of energy you send out comes back to you – in this case, your sending out of negative thoughts about your monetary situation will only come back at you negatively. Whereas, if you send out thoughts such as ‘money is on its way’, or if you can visualise yourself with a little more money as the end product of your nearest goal then the positive energy will help you on your way to finding the path to earning that money. You don’t have to worry about the method; imagine yourself at the end product and your life path will lead you in the direction to earn that money.

Now, I knew that my best friend Sophia was worried about money, and had been asking our very good, sadly absent friend, Travis Alexander for some positive energy due to her money problems. He had been through money problems during his life and come out successful at the end of it, so he was probably the best person to ask. I texted her, demanding she watch this documentary right now.

I didn’t expect her to be so overcome with inspiration, emotion and rapture towards this revelation I had just discovered.

After the documentary finished, I was doing some work and all of a sudden a message pops up on my phone. It read:

‘omg Eloise omg omg omg!!’ with a link. It was to Travis’ final speech – 24^th April, 2008, just over a month before he was killed. We hadn’t seen this speech before, and by chance Sophia was YouTubing around. She was going to type in ‘Jodi Arias’, but backtracked and deleted it, searching instead for ‘Travis Alexander’. This speech we had not seen before was one of the first results she found, and so she sent it to me.
I started to watch it, and I was overcome with this profound emotion. I found myself nodding along to Travis’ words – he was just so charismatic, so fascinating and insightful. His words were striking such incredible chords with me and I was just so overwhelmed that I cried, I clapped along with the audience in my bedroom and I couldn’t stop smiling. It was beautiful. He also mentioned the documentary we had just watched that evening at the very end of the speech.

I wouldn’t have called this a Miracle if I hadn’t realised a little something...

The night before, I had stood at my window and spoken to Travis. I had thanked him for what he did with his life and how his words and ideas have inspired me. I apologised that I wouldn’t be able to read his *slim* book due to not having a kindle, and wished that I could have met him and spoken to him just once before he was taken. Sophia had also been asking Travis for help, bear in mind, but was worried that he wasn’t hearing her as she didn’t think she had received any guidance or answers to her questions.

What amazed me is that I had chosen that documentary out of a choice of hundreds on my Netflix list. I had also debated texting Sophia, as I worried she would be too busy with sixth form work, etc. But I did. Something drew me to that particular documentary that day, and something told me to tell Sophia. Something told Sophia to type into YouTube ‘Travis Alexander’ rather than the name of his murderer, ‘Jodi Arias’. She chose to focus on the life of this wonderful man, rather than the complicated death and court case that followed. She finds his final speech, where we hear Travis discussing ‘The Secret’ in the final speech he gave – a speech that we had both never found on YouTube before, but had suddenly made itself apparent to us that particular day, when we had both watched that particular documentary.

If that isn’t someone telling us he is listening and helping, then I don’t know what is. That’s too many coincidences – and as Sherlock says: ‘the universe is rarely so lazy’. I think that somehow, Travis was using me to tell Sophia he was listening to her, and there is a way for her to stop worrying about money. I don’t know if you all will believe that, but I certainly think that he was here with us that evening, trying to help and teach us.

“We don’t know when our last day will be” Travis said in his final speech – Travis didn’t know in the end, of course, but through his death he has reached more people than he may have been predestined to in his lifetime. Maybe his death was supposed to lead us all to become better people, to realise that one simple thing – to ‘go to bed better than you woke up’. For someone so insightful, with such a beautiful soul, I personally don’t think he was finished yet.

Separate yourself from the masses to achieve and succeed – don’t just settle for a mediocre life and job. Separate yourself, work hard and achieve it. Stop dwelling on ‘I’m so in debt’ or ‘I have no money’ or ‘I’m fat’ or ‘I’m ugly’ or ‘I have no talent, I won’t succeed’ – start waking up and saying thank you straight away. Set ten minutes aside everyday to start thinking about the good things in your life, and how grateful you are for it. This will help you to practice positive thinking - realising the love that’s already around you that you don’t perhaps realise. Then start visualising yourself in abundance, with love all around you, with the success you strive for, working the job you want, being with the person you want to be with, living in the house you dream of, meeting a person you want to meet – whatever! If your mind can visualise and imagine it, you can achieve it. You can do it. ‘The human mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven’. John Milton said that, by the way. This is exactly why, when I go to LIPA on Sunday and audition for the course I want to do, I won't think of the past two rejections I've faced. I need to think of myself as an accepted student, or visualise myself graduating.

I believe in you, and you need to believe in yourself. Energy never dies; it is always there, within and without, travelling from vessel to vessel learning and growing each time. Send positive energy and receive positive results; it’s that simple.

Love,Eloise

@MissEloisabeth