"The Difference Between a Stumbling Block and a Stepping Stone..."

The first half of 2013 was a very interesting half of a year for me and a few friends. You see, we have this, ahem, ‘curiosity’ about those people that kill other people. Murderers, yeah. I say ‘curiosity’, I should explain that, we don’t like the murderers, we just like reading about them. Hope you’re okay now. Anyway, basically, a few friends and I became interested in a particular murder case which was very high profile in America; the Jodi Arias trial.

The crime took place in Mesa, Arizona, where it is legal to publicise trials. This meant that over here in England, those of us with weird interests and apparent spare time (I’ve no idea where that time came from, looking back...) could watch live streams from the court room. 

The basic outline is this: Jodi Arias, a waitress from California, was arrested in 2008 following the murder of Travis Alexander. He had been stabbed 27 times, shot and was on the brink of decapitation when he was found slumped alone in a bloody shower cubicle days later by friends. Arias took to the stand for 18 days, testifying that Travis was abusive and a paedophile, amongst other false accusations. Arias lied several times before finally admitting she had killed Travis, but ‘in self defence’, for which she was convicted of 1^st degree murder due to extreme cruelty on 8^th May – the new jury are yet to decide if she will receive the death penalty or life imprisonment for her crimes, in the new penalty phase starting in March - six years after the murder happened.

Now, I wouldn’t have gone to all of the trouble of sharing my weird, morbid interests with you all if it wasn’t for a reason. Travis Alexander, during his short life, was a motivational speaker with a passion for making the world a better place – and I’ve been trying my hardest to get his message for the world to reach as many people as possible, simply because that opportunity was viciously taken from him by his jealous ex-girlfriend.

Travis coined this phrase:

“The only difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the individual walking the path”

He was so on it.

Think to yourself, what do I see as an obstacle? Is it truly an obstacle, or can I easily overcome it with a little more motivation, or a better attitude? Is there someone in a worse position than I am?
Questions like these are what gave Travis his true thirst for life, which led to his thrill-seeking, creating and running a successful blog, and helping others realise their own potential through his motivational speaking.
Travis came to this earth to teach us all that no matter what we have been handed in life, we can, like the Phoenix, ‘rise from the ash and accomplish absolutely anything we choose to. All that is required is that we realise what we have and the source of where it comes. Once we have done that we become unbound and free to do and have anything’.

Travis’ motto was that we have no limits. Sixth Form might just be a small section of your life so far – we haven’t even lived a quarter of a century yet, remember – but exams and school work aren’t something that you should let become an obstacle, or a negative thing. Keep your motivation, have a good attitude, and keep trucking; because if you do that, how can you possibly go wrong? We as humans have absolutely no limits, and we can do anything to make life and the world a beautiful thing for ourselves and others, so long as we put our minds to it.
This being said, next time you think you won’t get a grade, you’re having a bad day, or feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, don’t give up! Remember that there is always going to be someone else out there who has done so much more with maybe even less than what you have.

Before he was so tragically stolen from the world, Travis was writing a book called ‘Raising You’. Unfortunately it’s a very slim volume and only available on Kindle, but ‘Travis Alexander’s Being Better Blog’ is still viewable online, and I can’t recommend it enough; especially at this important stage of learning, growth and development.

I thought that I would also include a warning to anyone who is sensitive to this sort of thing but wants to find out more about this remarkable man - DO NOT GOOGLE TRAVIS’ NAME ALONE! Please include the blog name too. There are some horrific images on Google which were used as evidence in the trial, which I personally still find uncomfortable and upsetting to see.

I’ll leave this post on a high note, with Travis in happier times on a skiing trip -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg23qOHGgfc

All my love, x

Motivational Figures

I have a lot of people in my life who motivate me and keep me dreaming. I am constantly looking for new people to inspire me, keep me thinking about new or interesting topics and doing everything I can to succeed. Here's my list of my top eight motivators!


8) The Earth

The world motivates me no end. I know it isn't so much a 'figure' as it is our home, a planet and a beautiful creation through which ever method you prefer, but I see it as such a motivational object. Think of everything the world has seen and put up with; wars, family break ups, poverty, climate change, pollution, people throwing abuse at one another or even setting out to hurt each other or animals... and yet the parts of the world that humankind can't destroy is so beautiful to look at still, and it is all there for us to appreciate for free in nature. The world continually gives this beautiful spectacle to us and all we do is take from her. It's a lesson that however pants things seem, you're still a beautiful person inside and out and you deserve to go on succeeding.
I like to think that one day, if all goes well and I succeed in everything that I hope to, that I will be able to see more of her in the future. That's a big thing for me, and something that keeps me chugging.

7) The Beatles

This is a bit of a weird one, I know. You're probably thinking exactly what I thought when I wrote this down - that you have to be musically minded for this one to work.

Not at all!

Each of the fab four have inspired me in so many ways. I'll go through each of them individually.

John has influenced my wit, I think, more than anything. John was incredibly intelligent and funny, and it's infectious! He was clearly the most outspoken and confident of the four, what with his peacenik attitude, revolutionary beliefs and 'things wot John Lennon sed wot he should not have'... He was also unafraid to voice his opinions (now we ALL know that) and he has helped me develop my own thoughts and feelings on what is going on in the world, what I want to contribute to the world and helped me feel more able to say what I think.
Paul is a perfectionist, and that is a very good trait in a motivational figure, I think. His meticulousness and attention to detail in his work makes me want to have the career I dream of already and be doing the best that I can with what talents I have. It's admirable, and I don't see perfectionism as a bad thing so long as it doesn't turn into dictating what other people should be doing in order for you to achieve this perceived image of perfection. It's all about keeping a level head I suppose.
George - where to begin? I'm currently reading his autobiography, 'I, Me, Mine' and George has taught me so much about myself and the way I see the world. He was the person who made me interested in meditation and learning more ways to stop the whizzing thoughts in my head and just focus for as little or as long as I want on my base consciousness. Obviously I have in turn learnt a lot by reading and watching things the Maharishi said, but George was the beginning. He has also taught me to think of the time I have left as only today - meaning to LIVE NOW! Tomorrow doesn't exist yet, and we don't know if we will see tomorrow - anything could happen, really. The past has gone and it won't be coming back physically. Maybe you'll learn lessons from the past and realise what was good and what was bad about things you may have said or done, or realised what decisions you made and analyse them more clearly in retrospect, but the only real, chance you have to live is this day, TODAY. It's a wonderful message. So many spiritual ideas have awoken inside of me since finding George, and I think belief is something integral to life. Whatever you believe in, whoever you believe in - it's at least a blessing to have some form of belief rather than none at all. Even if it is in yourself and the power you possess, it's a wonderful thing.
And Ringo... A reminder that being a latecomer or less 'in your face' personality is not ain any way less rewarding than being one of those people who did/said/watched/realised something first or never stopped talking.

6) Travis Alexander

This man is incredible. I mentioned him in my last post on the One Step Ahead blog, and I don't feel bad for mentioning him again at all. He's basically, posthumously, a life coach to me and my friends! My best friend introduced me to Travis through the notorious Jodi Arias case in America. This was a case in Arizona, so it was very publicised and the media were able to film the trial as it was happening.
If you didn't read my first blog entry on here, then a) go back right now and do that, but b) I mention that Travis was a motivational speaker while he was alive. He coined phrases such as:

'The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the individual walking the path.'

A man with an attitude like that; who wouldn't admire him? Sadly, Travis's book was left unfinished when he was brutally murdered by Jodi Arias, his ex-girlfriend. (I won't go into detail - you can read more about that yourselves). I choose to take on board Travis's message to the world, as he would have wanted, just so that he has a legacy that reaches beyond his family members. I want people to know who Travis Alexander is all around the world, so that more and more people feel better about themselves, and also so that a wonderful man gets the respect and justice that he deserves.

5) Benedict Cumberbatch

Now, this isn't as odd a choice as The Beatles one first appeared, considering I am a studying/aspiring actress. Oh, and I'm female. But that's a different kind of admiration... ;)

No, Benedict has been a huge help to me. As I live in the UK, we always get first dibs on little things like 'Sherlock' etc. (something I know a lot of anglophiles love). I was watching the first episode of Series Three, long awaited after a two-year hiatus, called 'The Empty Hearse' on New Years Day. I won't be spoiling it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, now or in the future.
Now, I know that this may sound like I'm simply 'obsessing' or being an over the top fan-girl or something, but it's honestly only an observation on my life as a spectator to this man's work, and one day I hope that I can tell him this in person.

Benedict inspires, motivates and influences me in so many ways. Of course he is attractive too, in my opinion, but this has nothing to do with his looks. Purely his talent and presence.
He motivates me and spurs me on to succeed as an actress respectably, and keep a level head. His charm and positivity are impossible to not have rub off on me, I find, even though it is obviously purely a screen and spectator exchange.
Ben makes me feel that I can walk onto any stage or set and fit in perfectly with like minded hard workers in my field. He calms my nerves and makes my performance anxiety subside (and I understand this is sounding incredibly weird, but I don't mean it in an extreme stalker-y fangirly way; just as a performer admiring a fellow performer. I sound so gushy!)

His talent is incomparable with anyone alive at this point in time. He's the only living actor of the 21st century that is just so brilliant and captivating in his work. That's a good word. He's the only one alive at this moment in time that completely and wholly captivates me when I watch his work. The only one since Marilyn...

That's what I aim for. That's what the plan is. I want to captivate people so that they can lose themselves or escape just for that allotted time. It's a magical gift to possess and Benedict spurs me on to try and achieve even an ounce of that magic.

4) Marilyn Monroe

Basically, you can read all of that stuff about Benedict and just replace the 'he' with 'she'. They are both top of my list for acting talent and all round loveliness. I've been researching Marilyn for four years come June 2014, so I have a special place in my heart that always keeps me going, remembering her and honouring her spirit. She's the person that sparked my interest in acting, due to her misrepresented persona and how dedicated she was to her craft. She's a fascinating woman that I think you should definitely all read more into!

But yes, Marilyn inspires me for basically the same reasons as Benedict. Though a little bit more special to me.

3) My Friends and Peers

Me and my friends seem to go through waves at the same time - we'll feel great at the start of term, then we'll start slipping, and we'll be disorganised and stressed by the end of the year, and then after Summer the whole cycle will start again. Recently though, with the help of the dear friend mentioned above, Travis, my dearest friends and their circle of enthusiasm, light and love around me has influenced me to join them on the road to becoming more organised, more focussed and more work oriented. At the moment, that is all that matters as sixth former. I have student loans for University, so I don't need to worry about money massively, though it is definitely a concern. I have a family who will help me in any ways possible, so really all I need to think about is getting my work done. Everything else is merely a distraction. This is why I am cutting out things like magazines, gossip sites, randomly trawling the internet when I could be reading or learning something valuable...

They've all been a part in making me this person and I am ever thankful. Being around such hard working, motivated, like-minded people in all of my classes really helps. They know who they are.

2) People who have used their energy to put me down in life

I won't name names as I'm not one to shame anybody. It's been a mission of mine every time I am put down to turn it into a lesson or an opportunity, rather than dwell on it or accept it. I am guilty of dwelling and remembering things said to me in the past, but it is a habit I continue to try and break.

An example? I once said to somebody that I wanted to be a singer - back in 2009 I think. Whatever year The Climb by Miley Cyrus was released. This person was quite close to me and all they could say in support was 'ha! Good luck with that then, Elly!' Come 2013, I had to sing in my Performance Studies lessons, as we cover more than just drama. I would dread every lesson to my core. I would go, of course, as I'm not one to miss a lesson just off the bat, but I would tremble, I wouldn't be able to concentrate when I knew I would have to sing or even practise my song in the same room as everybody else later on... It wasn't a good attitude to be left with.
But I turned that around and realised that the person who told me, however much I love them, will be remaining on this disconnected Island for the rest of their lives, away from where the big success and possibilities lie. This isn't an ego trip, I am purely realising that these people will put me down purely because they want to be able to do the things that I am now beginning to have the opportunities to begin, explore and learn more about.
Singing was never something I was exceptional at, and of course acting is my favourite thing to do, but it didn't help at the time, as a child of 13, to be told that I would probably never get anywhere with that dream.

The lesson in it was not to listen to people who put you down, because they may just have a negative outlook on life. Our job is to help those people realise that if I can think, dream and do this, and succeed, then so can they - they don't have to be so disheartened from showing off or discovering a new talent.

Just FYI, when I sang solo for the first time in front of anyone other than my family ( by which I mean my performance studies class) I was told that I could do it, and that I had a talent that could be trained to become better. I was nervous of course, and I felt like I didn't do as well as I could have, but my worrying and anxiety was proved pointless after the comments I received!

1) My Family -

Of course the obvious, the determination to repay them for all they have done for me, make them proud...

But they also support me in all of my endeavours - as monetarily as they can, they come to see my showcases and all of my performances... I'm always being told that I CAN do something. I never get told that I'll never be able to do something. I think that's all that matters. I could say so much more.

Who influences you? Who or what really motivates you to achieve your dreams? Think really hard, you may be surprised who really, truly is a motivating force behind everything you do.

Enjoy your day!

Affirmations for the New Year, 2014

'2014 is going to be the best year of my life so far.'

I am going to see as much of my country as I can whilst visiting universities that I have applied to, because it is scary to me how little I have seen of such a small country, let alone the rest of the world. 

 

I will be accepted into a UK university that I would like to go to, and learn to live away from my family in order to become more self sufficient and find out more about the way the world works.

I promise to read and repeat mantras and affirmations daily in order to remind myself that I am confident and outgoing enough to succeed as an actress, and that if I ever feel less than adequately confident, I need to do something to change that. I will also do this to become more confident in what I know deep down that I can do, and never stop trying to learn more about what I feel I cannot.

This year I will expand my knowledge, read more and learn as much as is possible at this stage of my life. I will seize every opportunity, meet as many people and experience all that I can in order to learn as much as possible from it. I will also ensure that I stay connected with my close friends wherever I am, and try even harder in my personal relationships.

I will ensure that I am more organised this year, get all of my work done efficiently and set out a clear schedule for myself each week so that I definitely stick to it. Revision will be done without stress, anxiety and worry, and I will complete every piece of work on the day it is given, when possible.

In 2014, I will succeed in getting a part-time job or two, which I will fit around sixth form without experiencing stress. If I do, I will find new ways to calm myself down and remember to schedule my days better. This will in turn lead to more money coming in, which I will continue handling sensibly, as I do now.

I promise to emphasise the love and compassion that I feel for every individual, animal and part of nature by becoming more actively involved in their protection. I will do this by donating, protesting and continuing to make a difference for animals and the planet through my vegetarianism, and disregarding those who say that I'm not making a difference. If I'm saving one animal's life, then it made a difference to them - and that's proven. I need to remember that. I will also become even more energy efficient by not using electrical appliances as often, turning lights off when they aren't needed and take more short showers than baths.
I will also remember to love myself by exercising regularly, whether at home or elsewhere, eating sensibly and remembering to treat myself once in a while, food-wise, and constantly remind myself that I don't need to look like other girls that I see around, only myself. Just healthy. I haven't dyed my hair since February 2013, and I will continue to let my hair grow naturally without adding harsh chemicals and use heated appliances less often. I will stop picking my nails and keep my cuticles healthy, as the hands are what can connect human beings externally and are very important. My anxiety will reduce, and if I ever feel it is returning I will stop whatever is causing it (as it is normally school work related) and take a break to refresh my mind, or if it is performance anxiety, then I will remind myself of those who inspire me, motivate me and keep me pushing for my aspirations.

I promise to go to the cinema or theatre more often in order to support those actors/actresses/directors or production companies that I particularly enjoy, and also to show appreciation of the craft and industry that I would like to enter into

 This year I will take up meditation in order to de-stress, think clearly and aid my ability to become more outspoken than I am currently about what I think, feel and believe. 

 Finally, I will give my best in everything I do, from the smallest piece of work to the biggest performance.

'2014 will be the best year of my life, laying the foundation for 2015, which will dwarf the achievements of 2014.'

 

Foot note -

Those first and last highlighted quotes were said by Travis Alexander, a man who was killed quite horrifically in 2008 by his ex-girlfriend Jodi Arias. The case wasn't so big over here in the UK, so some may not have heard about it unless they know either me or my best friends, but it was huge in America, so I've heard.
Travis was a motivational speaker while he lived. He is the man who inspired me to start this self help, guidance and success blog, so that I could share my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, rants and aspirations with other people in order to go on a journey with other dreamers, and help them see that their own goals and dreams are achievable too. It is also so that I can set out the goings on in my head so that I can see it all clearly and understand myself more. I owe him a lot, and I hope that this spark of inspiration leads to something wonderful for everyone.

Myself and each of my friends wrote one of these passages so that at the end of 2014 we can look back and see how much we have achieved individually and collectively. In my opinion, I think we'll do incredible things.

 

If you want to read some of Travis's beautiful and inspirational thoughts on the world and life, then you can find his blog by searching for 'Travis Alexander's Being Better Blog' in Google or whatever search engine you like to use.

 

Write one of these down to prepare a clean slate for the year ahead. Come back to it on New Year's Eve and see what you have achieved, and what is left that you can add to the passage for 2015.

 

I wish you all great success, happiness and prosperity in 2014.

 

Happy New Year!